x0tek

Ellustrial · August 2015

Hey guys. I realized something today.

I'll put it simply. For several years now, I haven't cared. Sure, I've tried to win. Sure, I pub for a couple of hours when I can. Sure, I'll try to lead teams well.

But, the level of dedication and focus I exhibited when I was initially growing and learning this game has been...nonexistent. I've not cared about getting better. I've not put in the work or the mental effort I did when getting better. Yes, I've maintained the level that I've been at for the last two years or so, with varying levels of consistency...but, more than that, there's been nothing.

When I cared, and actively gave this game my all, I was the best. "Oh my god Reid, you have such an ego", no, it's just true. Everyone accused me of cheating, of walling, of trigger-botting. I was known as the guy who could sit in a room for 7 hours just talking about maps, who was picked up as a pubstar simply because I was amazing. The guy who would study replays of players just to learn their individual tendencies. I 20'd my first on-client match (though I almost bottomed the first match I was streamed, RIP Reid). Then...I stopped caring. And I stopped improving.

I've played in 7 qualifiers in my CF career. I've topfragged in only 3 events. For someone who was once considered, to quote Slaya's ESG analysis, "One of the best players to ever touch this game", that is pathetic, and I need to do better.

So, I apologize. To the people who do support me, to the people who have cheered me on in each event, I apologize for not giving it my all.

I'm done with that. To put a long story short, I'm back.

I'm writing this mostly as a...sort of benchmark. An announcement. Unnecessary? Sure. But, it's not directed at those who don't want to hear it, or those who think it's bombastic. It's directed at the people who have been my fans through the years.

Wishing you all the best,
Reid