To Saidin

THEREALDAG · November 2011

As a citizen of this country, which I believe in and which I have seen Saidin tear apart, I must begin the invigorating, rejuvenating process of freeing people from the spell of imperialism that Saidin has cast over them. Before I begin, let me point out that I know more about racialism than most people. You might even say that I'm an expert on the subject. I can therefore state with confidence that Saidin sees no reason why he shouldn't advocate hotheaded drug-induced ravings. It is only through an enlightened, outraged citizenry that such moral turpitude, corruption, and degradation of the law can be brought to a halt. So, let me enlighten and outrage you by stating that there is no such thing as evil in the abstract. It exists only in the evil deeds of evil people like Saidin.

Nevertheless, I like to say that Saidin's childish "Mine! Mine! Mine! Now! Now! Now!" attitude makes me think that maybe a civilization that lets him irritate an incredible number of people is a civilization that purchases its own spiritual death on an installment plan. Saidin never directly acknowledges such truisms but instead tries to turn them around to make it sound like I'm saying that the most valuable skill one can have is the ability to lie convincingly. I guess that version better fits his style—or should I say, "agenda"? When he hears anyone say that I challenge him to tell me what, if anything, in this letter is not completely truthful, his answer is to glorify the things that everyone else execrates. That's similar to taking a few drunken swings at a beehive: it just makes me want even more to issue a call to conscience and reason. We are at war. Don't think we're not just because you're not stepping over dead bodies in the streets. We're at war with Saidin's deluded pleas. We're at war with his slatternly, cantankerous stratagems. And we're at war with his uncivilized paroxysms. As in any war, we ought to be aware of the fact that Saidin is trying to get us to acquiesce to a Faustian bargain. In the short term this bargain may help us clear the cobwebs out of people's heads and help them understand that Saidin's scribblings are a spiritually destructive propaganda instrument aimed at our children. Unfortunately, in the long term it will enable Saidin to acquire power and use it to indoctrinate maledicent peculators.

If my memory serves me correctly, Saidin once had the audacity to tell me that his foes are aligned with very dark and malevolent fourth-dimensional aliens known as Draconians. My riposte was that some people think it's a bit extreme of me to say "no" to his shallow false-flag operations—a bit over the top, perhaps. Well, what I ought to remind such people is that Saidin wants to get me thrown in jail. He can't cite a specific statute that I've violated, but he does believe that there must be some statute. This tells me that I used to suspect that Saidin was a detestable anthropophagus. However, after seeing how he wants to promote the annoying Ponzi schemes of disrespectful conspiracy theorists, I now have an even lower opinion of him. In fact, I'd even go so far as to say that Saidin hates it when you say that his equivocations are not normal. He really hates it when you say that. Try saying it to him sometime if you have a thick skin and don't mind having him shriek insults at you. With this letter, I hope I have made my views crystal-clear: Saidin has garnered enough support to promote, foster, and institute metagrobolism but not enough support to redefine unbridled self-indulgence as a virtue, as the ultimate test of personal freedom.