In-Depth guide on How to be an Internet Gangster

From the beginning of my career of internet gaming, I've ran into many wannabe internet gangsters.

They would look somewhat like this.



I shunned them, and pitied the fool. As they knew, I was a straight up ganksta, very experienced at thug life. And I gave them tips on how to improve.

This is why I am here today. Today, I will teach each and everyone of you forumers to be a straight up G.

Step 1: 1337

Firstly, what you need to do for this step is cosplay. Dress up as a gangster, so you feel like one. Be sure to wear something like a doo-rag, a beater, and wear your pants low (about to your knees is fine). After that, boot up your computer and get onto your game. Here's where the fun starts. Start playing the game. Every time you kill someone, type in something like "L0L amgad, ar teh 1337. joo fayul, gtfo noobs". This will lead to everyone hating you, thinking your a little bee-atch, and eventually, you getting kicked out the game.

Step 2: Excuses

What you have to do for this is everytime you die or lose in the game, come up with an excuse. Excuses such as "AMGAD **** LAGGERT" or "JOO *** GTFO ***" or even "lul fail n00b ah GAWT teh WroNg gunzz gtfo feggzz" will work. This will lead to more hate, and bad honor.

Step 3: Speech

Everytime you type something, you must type it so no one can understand you. Think of it as broken English. Try using pronounciations and you will succeed. It's hard at first, but you'll get the hang of it.

Examples of some words : I = ahh. Fail = Fayul You = Joo **** = Tihtzz

To build more on this, make your letters all capitalized and lowercased for more annoyance to the reader. Things such as "YoU ArE a NoOob FoAR TeH LuLLlzlLZLzlLZL" works well.

Step 4: Real life actions

When you get a kill, scream on the top of your lungs "PWNED". When you die scream "NOOB IMMA REPE JOOR AZZ". This will boost your self esteem, cosplay works, trust me.

Step 5: Fail

If you die too much, and dissing someone in game doesn't annoy them as much as you wanted, just leave. E-rage and E-quit always works. This will boost your self esteem as well, knowing you are a quitter.

If you've followed these steps, you should end up looking something like this.



Hopefully these tips have helped you improve your status and ranking in the e-world. Many people will hate you, and want to kill you after this, which is exactly what your aiming for. You do this because you know they can't do anything about it, cause they don't know who you are IRL. Knowing this, you know you'll never actually do any of this IRL because you'd get your ass whooped but choose to do it on the internet cause you know your a p*ssy, and can get away with it.

Hope you enjoyed and strive to the greater good with this guide.

Peez awt Hohme Dawgzz.