Word game!!!

g@Y?
bisexual?

Acually feck that first one in the ear! www.the-elite.net is a much better effort!

It all started when our protagonist, KronicHash, woke up in a vineyard. It was the fourth time it had happened. Feeling very stunned, KronicHash groped a spoon, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Rather abruptly, he realized that his beloved M4A1 Custom was missing! Immediately he called his friend, MikeDaSpike. KronicHash had known MikeDaSpike for (plus or minus) one million years, the majority of which were curious ones. MikeDaSpike was unique. He was outgoing though sometimes a little... selfish. KronicHash called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

MikeDaSpike picked up to a very calm KronicHash. MikeDaSpike calmly assured him that most marmots turn red before mating, yet kittens usually explosively sigh *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting KronicHash. Why was MikeDaSpike trying to distract KronicHash? Because he had snuck out from KronicHash's with the M4A1 Custom only three days prior. It was a enticing little M4A1 Custom... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before KronicHash got back to the subject at hand: his M4A1 Custom. MikeDaSpike sighed. Relunctantly, MikeDaSpike invited him over, assuring him they'd find the M4A1 Custom. KronicHash grabbed his ironing board and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, MikeDaSpike realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the M4A1 Custom and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if KronicHash took the truck, he had take at least eight minutes before KronicHash would get there. But if he took the Kit from KnightRider? Then MikeDaSpike would be alarmingly screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, MikeDaSpike was interrupted by ten oafish Ninja Baboons that were lured by his M4A1 Custom. MikeDaSpike sighed; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling relieved, he recklessly reached for his mitten and aimlessly grabbed every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the desert, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Kit from KnightRider rolling up. It was KronicHash.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Jim's House of Wings to pick up a 12-pack of staplers, so he knew he was running late. With a deft leap, KronicHash was out of the Kit from KnightRider and went charismatically jaunting toward MikeDaSpike's front door. Meanwhile inside, MikeDaSpike was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the M4A1 Custom into a box of butterknifes and then slid the box behind his couch. MikeDaSpike was displeased but at least the M4A1 Custom was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' MikeDaSpike explosively purred. With a deft push, KronicHash opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some dimwitted tool in a Vette,' he lied. 'It's fine,' MikeDaSpike assured him. KronicHash took a seat right next to where MikeDaSpike had hidden the M4A1 Custom. MikeDaSpike sneezed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But KronicHash was distracted. Suddenly, MikeDaSpike noticed a funny-smelling look on KronicHash's face. KronicHash slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

MikeDaSpike felt a stabbing pain in his leg when KronicHash asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the M4A1 Custom right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A clueless look started to form on KronicHash's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's pencils from when she used to have pet koalas. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. KronicHash nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before MikeDaSpike could react, KronicHash aimlessly lunged toward the box and opened it. The M4A1 Custom was plainly in view.

KronicHash stared at MikeDaSpike for what what must've been eleven seconds. Without warning, MikeDaSpike groped sassily in KronicHash's direction, clearly desperate. KronicHash grabbed the M4A1 Custom and bolted for the door. It was locked. MikeDaSpike let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, KronicHash,' he rebuked. MikeDaSpike always had been a little insensitive, so KronicHash knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before MikeDaSpike did something crazy, like... start chucking oven mitts at him or something. Subsequently, he gripped his M4A1 Custom tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

MikeDaSpike looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from KronicHash. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for KronicHash. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. MikeDaSpike walked over to the window and looked down. KronicHash was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, KronicHash was struggling to make his way through the desert behind MikeDaSpike's place. KronicHash had severely hurt his neck during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Ninja Baboons suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the M4A1 Custom. One by one they latched on to KronicHash. Already weakened from his injury, KronicHash yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Ninja Baboons running off with his M4A1 Custom.

About five hours later, KronicHash awoke, his arm throbbing. It was dark and KronicHash did not know where he was. Deep in the muddy bush, KronicHash was exceedingly lost. Suddenly, he remembered that his M4A1 Custom was taken by the Ninja Baboons. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That's when, to his horror, a shrunken Ninja Baboon emerged from the thicket. It was the alpha Ninja Baboon. KronicHash opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the Ninja Baboon sunk its teeth into KronicHash's leg. With a faint groan, the life escaped from KronicHash's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.

Less than two miles away, MikeDaSpike was entombed by anguish over the loss of the M4A1 Custom. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened spoon. With a calculated thrust, he buried it deeply into his leg. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about KronicHash... wishing he had found the courage to tell him that he loved him. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the M4A1 Custom that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant Ninja Baboons, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(

what map??