Random Stuff ^^

Sorry but i just had to post this :P


Teacher:''I'm calling your parents!''
Elementary Student:NOOOOOO,''I'll be good!''
Middle School Student:''Pshhh,whatever!''
High School Student: ''Hahaha tell my mom I said Hi!'' :P



"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no ****ing way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell cant paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that paper up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say "oh **** , I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, *******."

I love this one :rolleyes:



Guy1 : Did you know that "sugar" is the only word in the english language that the "su" makes a "sh" sound?
Guy2 : Really?
Guy1 : Yeah, for sure.



Admit it. ..................................... At some point in time you've tried to see if you had superpowers.



Harry: I can talk to snakes
Ron: Yeah well Dumbledore gave me his magic lighter
Harry: I have an invisibility cloak
Ron: I have parents
Harry: I banged your sister
Ron: ......



There is a "lie" in believe, "over" in lover, "end" in friend, and an "if" in life. And after Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W.T.F.



Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie... and when its about to start........ BOOOOOM, Human giraffe sits in front of you



Friends:
"is my makeup okay?"
"Yes, it looks really nice "
Best friends:
"does my makeup look okay?"
"No. you look a mess. Sort it out." ---> true ^^ i do that to my best friend ahah



At a sleepover :
Friends : "Can I have a glass of water please?"
"Yea sure, Come with me to the kitchen"
Best friends : "Oi can i hav sum water"
"Move ur ass and get it yourself, u practically live here."


Studies say 90% women don't like men in pink T-shirts
IRONICALLY
90% Men in pink T-shirts don't like women.



Boy: So, sex at my place?
Girl: Yah!
Boy: OK, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother and he thinks we're making sandwiches so this is the code. Cheese= Faster. Tomato= Harder.
Girl: OK?
~Later~
Girl: CHEESE CHEESE TOMATO CHEESE!
Brother: Stop making sandwiches! You're getting mayo all over my bed! ---> LOOOOOOOOL



14th Febuary:
Girl: Happy Valentines Day!
Boy: Um... yeah
-Girl passes him a big box of chocolates-
-Boy passes her a tiny box, to which she looks dissapointed-
Boy: Now, before you open this, I want you to know something... I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore...
Girl: (Shocked) -Opens box- *Gasp*
Boy: Because I want to be your husband.


enjoy