Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse
This is going to be a full guide on how to survive a full-on zombie apocalypse.
This is going to take advantage of currently standing military installations in America.
First of all, remember, zombies melt in water, therefore you only have to protect yourself from the american zombies, until you can find the nuclear launch silos, then just nuke the rest of the world.
Now.
First of all, you need to run down this checklist.
[] You need wimminz. Preferably attractive, and they need to be extremely fertile. Bella will serve my purposes in this exercise.
[] You should have transportation to get to a large scale military encampment.
[] You will need some sort of weaponry to clear out the military base at first.
[] At this point a few friends will help, but make sure they aren't wussy little friends, they have to be able to empty a clip into a zombie, not cry because there is gore.
[] You will also need a knowledge of computers, you are going to need to do some amazing hacking to get the nuclear launch codes.
Part 1. Securing a military encampment.
Things needed: Weapons, friends, wimminz, a map.
Alright, first of all your going to get your transportation, get out the map, find the nearest small scale military base. Even a firing range will do for this first purpose, your going to need to capture the base, obviously fighting through a few dozen zombies, this will be your first test of mettle. Once you have captured this base you need to gather up fully automatic weapons will be extremely beneficial from this point, get as many hand guns and clips as you can, the preferred weapons for this would be a P90 or other PDW.
Part 2. Securing a full military base.
Things needed: Weapons, friends, wimminz,
Alright, now you and your "team" should be outfitted with weaponry, at this stage your going to need a large amount of food, heavy artillery, and fully automatic weapons with a near infinite store of ammunition. Where do you find these things? Military. Warehouses.
So at this stage you should be nearing the large scale base, prepare for a fight, there will be hundreds of zombies here, try to get rid of as many as possible at a distance with your handguns before you start spraying your fully automatic guns, use them when the zombies are in a tighter grouping, it will conserve ammo until you can take the base.
Once the base is cleared it is time to re outfit your team. Heavy caliber weaponry is going to become more useful at this stage, your not trying to take a base, your defending.
Find the warehouses of food rations, also find any tunnels leading to bomb shelters, those will be most effective if all else fails.
Part 3. Defense
Required: Everything you can get your hands on that will protect you.
Alright, this is where things will get dicey, your mind is going to be shattering with the constant need for protection, your not going to be able to sleep, guns will be going off endlessly for days, your eyes are going to be burning with fumes.
you. cannot. mentally. break.
You and your friends need to be helping to keep each others sanity. Otherwise it is all over.
Mount some MG's on tripods, and get spraying, your going to be here for days, remember, just because the zombies stop coming, doesn't mean it's over. There will still be millions more in America hunting.
Part 4. Dropping nukes.
Required: Computer knowledge.
Get on wikileaks, find the nuclear silos, proceed to find control rooms, launch missiles, if this is executed properly you should nuke all other countries.
Thus annihilating any zombies outside of America.
Part 5. Rebuilding.
Required: Wimminz.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o
This is going to take advantage of currently standing military installations in America.
First of all, remember, zombies melt in water, therefore you only have to protect yourself from the american zombies, until you can find the nuclear launch silos, then just nuke the rest of the world.
Now.
First of all, you need to run down this checklist.
[] You need wimminz. Preferably attractive, and they need to be extremely fertile. Bella will serve my purposes in this exercise.
[] You should have transportation to get to a large scale military encampment.
[] You will need some sort of weaponry to clear out the military base at first.
[] At this point a few friends will help, but make sure they aren't wussy little friends, they have to be able to empty a clip into a zombie, not cry because there is gore.
[] You will also need a knowledge of computers, you are going to need to do some amazing hacking to get the nuclear launch codes.
Part 1. Securing a military encampment.
Things needed: Weapons, friends, wimminz, a map.
Alright, first of all your going to get your transportation, get out the map, find the nearest small scale military base. Even a firing range will do for this first purpose, your going to need to capture the base, obviously fighting through a few dozen zombies, this will be your first test of mettle. Once you have captured this base you need to gather up fully automatic weapons will be extremely beneficial from this point, get as many hand guns and clips as you can, the preferred weapons for this would be a P90 or other PDW.
Part 2. Securing a full military base.
Things needed: Weapons, friends, wimminz,
Alright, now you and your "team" should be outfitted with weaponry, at this stage your going to need a large amount of food, heavy artillery, and fully automatic weapons with a near infinite store of ammunition. Where do you find these things? Military. Warehouses.
So at this stage you should be nearing the large scale base, prepare for a fight, there will be hundreds of zombies here, try to get rid of as many as possible at a distance with your handguns before you start spraying your fully automatic guns, use them when the zombies are in a tighter grouping, it will conserve ammo until you can take the base.
Once the base is cleared it is time to re outfit your team. Heavy caliber weaponry is going to become more useful at this stage, your not trying to take a base, your defending.
Find the warehouses of food rations, also find any tunnels leading to bomb shelters, those will be most effective if all else fails.
Part 3. Defense
Required: Everything you can get your hands on that will protect you.
Alright, this is where things will get dicey, your mind is going to be shattering with the constant need for protection, your not going to be able to sleep, guns will be going off endlessly for days, your eyes are going to be burning with fumes.
you. cannot. mentally. break.
You and your friends need to be helping to keep each others sanity. Otherwise it is all over.
Mount some MG's on tripods, and get spraying, your going to be here for days, remember, just because the zombies stop coming, doesn't mean it's over. There will still be millions more in America hunting.
Part 4. Dropping nukes.
Required: Computer knowledge.
Get on wikileaks, find the nuclear silos, proceed to find control rooms, launch missiles, if this is executed properly you should nuke all other countries.
Thus annihilating any zombies outside of America.
Part 5. Rebuilding.
Required: Wimminz.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o
Comments
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you forgot the double tap!! damnit, shop. this is essential! get a grip!!
gosh!!
PS: i bring viki, but no reproducing for you guys. even in a situation like that, i want the kids to be beautiful.
OH that's harsh, but we only need a few kids, then once they are teenagers they make more. -
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iShopBellaOo wrote: »OH that's harsh, but we only need a few kids, then once they are teenagers they make more.
i know. i feel bad now. ya all can have some. sharing is caring.1of300sparta wrote: »im going to kidnap all the girls who broke my heart:( then reproduce with them, such sweet irony
im going for those hearts i broke. -
Green_Ranger wrote: »Your plan is flawed.
You fail to realize the safest thing to do at that point is steal a small plane and fly to Brazil. Zombies stand no chance when every 2nd person aimbots.
i think your plan is flawed now. aimbots can´t aim for braindead targets. they will keep spinning 360´s -
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in the event that some one actually needs a zombie guide in the future, best option is to barricade yourself with food, women(if one of them has a disease your ***ed and the human race is, so pick a v1rgin), condoms , and something to do, for a couple of years(i suggest left for dead 2, entertaining and educating), let the zombies fight them selves, flesh rot, things like that, while the zombie is immortal, the flesh is weak, let it decay before you take them on. its a lot easier fighting zombies when their missing limbs ^^''
so hide out, let that thin out their numbers before you take them on. heavy machine guns, large caliber ones 50 cals, saber rounds even, or depleted uranium bullets (but those are only slightly less difficult to find then unicorns so i suggest 50cals), since 1 9mm probably wont do the job, and keep some kantana's with you and blade sharpeners for when it gets dull. but really weapon wise, the world is your oyster what ever you like and feel comfortable with and can find, use it. find other humans ofc, but make sure their free of taint, and vice versa if ur infected. do the right thing and KILL YOUR SELF
as for vehicals, i suggest a Abrams tank, the backing of a company of men is advisable but not needed, also it runs on diesel fuel, kerosene, any grade of motor gasoline, JP-4 jet fuel, or JP-8 jet fuel, burn any fuel from gasoline to heating oil,and the tracks might clog up from running over thousands of zombies, , did i mention it can run over a highway of cars?, or if you want something with more speed, a humvee with the $70 000 Armour package, light skin just wont cut it, stock up on oil or get a hybrid. planes and helicopters are not advised unless you have a large military base in your possession and you are a veteran pilot. if nothing else you can camp in a huge cargo ship like a noob and float until someone else takes care of the problem, maybe some one will have a 60 kill streak and get a nuke. (note* as sick as it is, dont get a aston martin or a lambo, carbon fiber will crumple like tinfoil)
make sure you get a big radio tower or military sonar/sensor system to communicate with and survivors out there and possibly control satellites if your a godlike hacker. as for killing zombies.....stock up on left for dead2 and a mind blowing computer (ask ishop to build you one) and practice on that while you camp in the bunker in the first paragraph, beat every level on the hardest difficulty 60 times should do it.
assuming you've freed yourself from the threat of zombies, select a good place to rebuild, high ground resources near by, ground and water uncontaminated by zombie disease. the whole worlds gunna be in the dark ages for a while, technology will be lost forever
also 2 things
1: if the zombies are fast moving zombies and gifted with inhuman speed and strength and not lacking hand eye coordination........your ***ed stay in the bunker and live a happy life.
2: if the virus is transmitted by air..........your ***ed but if u dont feel like giving up, get some bio hazard suits that the fancy government guys have, respirators like the fellows at the G20 protest, and some tanks of air perhaps(but ur gunna run out eventually) and follow steps mentioned, except u might need a air dome or something (see spongebob)
and finally if all else fails build a underwater city and crown your self supreme ruler of everything, or if you're the lazy type(i know i am) kill yourself, but don't be a ***** about it either go out with c4's strapped to your chest and run at a building
*NOTE* DOUBLE TAP AT *ALL* COSTS
edit again: camp out in russia or something, the winters of russia have defeated every great army know to man, ie: napoleon, hitler
edit yet again: i have a particular interest in vehicles so i recommend the following
M42 Duster
PZA Loara
M163 VADS
ZSU-23-4
Gepard 1A2
ZSU-57-2
BOV-3 SPAAA
M16 MGMC
Mitsubishi Type 87 -
1of300sparta wrote: »in the event that some one actually needs a zombie guide in the future, best option is to barricade yourself with food, women(if one of them has a disease your ***ed and the human race is, so pick a v1rgin), condoms , and something to do, for a couple of years, let the zombies fight them selves, flesh rot, things like that, while the zombie is immortal, the flesh is weak, let it decay before you take them on. its a lot easier fighting zombies when their missing limbs ^^''
so hide out, let that thin out their numbers before you take them on. heavy machine guns, large caliber ones, since 1 9mm probably wont do the job, and keep some kantana's with you and blade sharpeners for when it gets dull. find other humans ofc, but make sure their free of taint, and vice versa if ur infected. do the right thing and kill yourself. as for vehicals, i suggest a Abrams tank, or if you want something with more speed, a humvee with the 70 000 dollar Armour package, light skin just wont cut it, stock up on oil or get a hybrid. planes and helicopters are not advised unless you have a large military base in your possession and you are a veteran pilot. if nothing else you can camp in a huge cargo ship like a noob and float until someone else takes care of the problem. (note* as sick as it is, dont get a aston martin or a lambo, carbon fiber will crumple like tinfoil)
make sure you get a big radio tower or military sonar/sensor system to communicate with and survivors out there and possibly control satellites if your a godlike hacker. as for killing zombies.....stock up on left for dead2 and a mind blowing computer (ask ishop to build you one) and practice on that while you camp in the bunker in the first paragraph, beat every level on the hardest difficulty 60 times should do it.
assuming you've freed yourself from the threat of zombies, select a good place to rebuild, high ground resourses near by, ground and water uncontaminated by zombie disease. the whole worlds gunna be in the dark ages for a while, technology will be lost forever
also 2 things
1: if the zombies are fast moving zombies and gifted with inhuman speed and strength and not lacking hand eye coordination........your ***ed stay in the bunker and live a happy life.
2: if the virus is transmitted by air..........your ***ed but if u dont feel like giving up, get some bio hazard suits that the fancy government guys have, respirators like the fellows at the G20 protest, and some tanks of air perhaps(but ur gunna run out eventually) and follow step mentioned, except u might need a air dome or something (see spongebob)
and finally if all else fails build a underwater city and crown your self supreme ruler of everything, or if you're the lazy type(i know i am) kill yourself, but don't be a ***** about it either go out with c4's strapped to your chest and run at a building
again, missing the double tap!!! we won´t make it guys, we wont.
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[/img] -
and i'll quote a zombie forum guy, to give you a worst case scenario of what to expect
"So if some one or some country made a bio weapon like this we could end up facing some kind of rage “zombie” that would be five times faster , stronger and more agile and they would have an accelerated reneration ability that would keep them from wearing out their body and it would allow them to survive damage that would put a normal person down . You would probably have to dump half a mag into one infected person in order to insure that they went down and stayed down ."
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